Trusting someone completely only to have that trust betrayed can seriously affect your ability to let anyone else in later. That makes sense, but there’s a difference between staying guarded until people prove they’re reliable and dependable and having major trust issues that keep you from developing meaningful relationships. Are you dealing with the latter? Here are 8 questions to ask yourself:
1. Is there anyone you DO trust? If you have trust issues, there’s a good chance that you don’t trust anyone at all. Boyfriend, friends, even your family could have red flags all over your radar. When it comes to being lied to, not everyone you know will feel the need to deceive you.
2. Do you trust yourself? If there’s anyone that you should be able to trust with your life, it’s yourself. If you’ve been screwed over that many times that you begin to doubt everything and everyone, however, you may not even be able to do that. Your gut feelings are ignored or over analyzed because you barely believe yourself and that’s a horrible thing.
3. Do you believe people lie about everything or anything? If someone you love tells you a little white lie, whether it be about what they had for lunch or how many beers they had on their way home from work, you tend to blow it up like it’s a huge deal. It could be an indicator of a more shady future with this person, but not every white lie is intended to hurt you.
4. How often does someone you trust betray you? If every relationship you’ve ever been in ended in disaster because of huge lies and betrayals, it’s safe to say that your trust issues aren’t there for no reason. If you’re betrayed by everyone you’ve ever loved, it’s hard for you to believe that anyone will respect you enough to tell the truth. That doesn’t mean they won’t, but you can’t see it.
5. Do people have to earn your trust? For those with trust issues, it’s hard to let anyone in until they’ve earned it ten times over. A healthier way to go about things, though, is to assume that those who say they care actually do and would never betray you. Take on the motto “innocent until proven guilty” when it comes to trust and you’ll be better off.
6. Do you carry over issues from past relationships? If your new boyfriend is, for all intents and purposes, perfect for you but you still have this feeling that he’s as shady as the last guy you dated then you may have trust issues. It’s okay to be guarded with your heart when you’ve been seriously wronged, but it’s also important to remember that not all guys are the same.
7. What’s YOUR track record like? Someone with trust issues could potentially be an untrustworthy person themselves. Sure, there are many ways for a person to develop trust issues, but if you don’t trust anyone, there’s a decent chance that you may feel that way because deep down you know YOU can’t be trusted.
8. What’s your gut telling you? If you can manage to listen to your instincts, you’ll be able to know if those red flags you’re picking up on are real or if you’re just terrified of being deceived by someone you care about all over again. Get back in touch with yourself, figure out your baggage and you’ll be able to get back to a healthy level of trust in no time.